You underestimate my power!" - Anakin Skywalker

I have been designing and developing web sites for over 25 years, predominantly for non-profit organizations in the telecommunications and law enforcement industries. I have extensive experience with HTML, PHP, CSS, JavaScript, and more. I don't want to do that sh*t anymore.

These days I smoke cigars, drink a lot of coffee, and wipe crusty cat butts. When I remember to.

Complete Contract Details

Choosing the right employee is tough. Fo-get aboutit, you found 'im. Here's the deal:

1. Have good intentions.
2. Don't lie.
3. Never harm innocent life.
4. Shut up more often.
5. No meetings with more than 3 people, remotely.
6. No in-person meetings.
7. No in-person anything, likely.
8. No more than 20 hours per week, on MY time, at MY pace. (Note: Rates reflect billing for 20 hours.)
9. Family healthcare, including dental & vision. Good sh*t that can actually be used where we need it.
10. Four (4) weeks of un-paid vacation.
11. Family & Medial leave, based off from current Washington State & Federal laws.
12. Entirely remote.
13. Up-front payment.
14. Three (3) mulligan's.

Ad-hoc & Other Meetings

Ask around. I am happy to meet and intelligently discuss opportunities to improve our communities. I'll drive through NYC & D.C. pre-public GPS to do that sthi.

Donation Requirement to Book a Meeting

Here's the deal, money bags. I will only meet with an entity or "human" that can produce a donation receipt from https://cancer.org or https://wikipedia.org.

How to Book a Meeting w/Obi-Wan

You don't. He's a fictional character. WTF? Anyway, if you'd like to book a meeting with me come correct and bring a receipt.

Book the damn meeting yourself via the link provided below (Click the button with the text on it.).

If I accept, I'll send you an invoice via email. Thank you for your interest in my services!

Book a Meeting w/Me

Hourly rate is billed in 15-minute increments.

Contact me today to discuss simplifying your business.